Everything seems so wrong. I'm starting to hate my days of life. Everything seems not right. My Christmas wasn't like usual. My Christmas was plain celebrating with colleagues. I'm beginning to feel no love but just fun. Not even exactly fun laa~ hmm... Everything seems wrong.. Should I confront him? Or just let it be n follow with the flow? Just a day faking n I'm tired already. Hmm... Atleast I make myself to stay with him on Christmas just so n hopefully that he'll spend time with me. Hmm, guess what?! Ended up he sleeps. Just like normal. I couldn't take it anymore. He's treating me like a friend. Yaa, maybe not good enough. But he's different . Very different. Just wish time could change. Although it seems impossible.. He'd rather spend his time enjoying with his cousin other than me. Where I's all his promises? Just Meeting him at work? Hmm, I'm not saying it's not enough but. Urgh! This sucks. Totally sucks. I know Unexplainable incident happens. But this time round it fcuking sucks! U can use your brains to think right? Hmm...

My heart told me to do so. Andd I believe I must follow my heart cause it's the best for me. Maybe I'm never good enough. So be it. Find another one :) but before that leave me . Hmm. Nothing much to update. It's just that i'm feeling sucky this whole month. Hmm. I don't wish to elaborate more cause someone simply has my link so yaa. If u people feel like knowing just holla me up n ask me yourself or other alternatives if can't get through me, holla my bestie, Tasha:) she's the only one who knows exactly how I feel. Hmm. I hate faking but I have to. I'm sorry. Sooner or later when I can't fake anymore it'll end :) everything will be back to it's origins. Happy Christmas fellow readers.





P.s ; I know what's gonna happen next, cry and then no change but worst off. Hmm. Goodbye my birthday wish. So not looking forward for my birthday cause i'm just not gonna celebrate it. I've made up my mind.

Wootswoots^^ besok offday sayaa:) I'm gonna spent my dy sleeping sleeping sleeping. Most prolly will be meeting boyfie later in the afternoon^.* other than that work sucks to the core. Cause something happened to me. Guess what?! I tripped and fall infront of the customer. Wth! Thanks to that idiotic matS -.-' they were disturbing me while I'm trying my best to get away from them and it was raining suddenly. So I'm left with no choice but to clear the tables n chairs n put it under shelter. So as I was carrying that table and walking quickily , I tripped and fall due to the metal stand that has to be there to support the projector. It freaking hurts okay! WTF! Seriously lorr. I hate to have any marks or anything on my body and now I haf it on my legs n lips! Urgh! Saaaaakeet! Benci benci benci! Dear marks , pls go away asap can? Andd the great part was boyfie just said ' ohh, siket je laa, taqde pape laa b' -________-' I'm not done yet. Actually I don't mind boyfie saying all that cause to the matter of facts, it is just a small cut on my lips n legs. But this kepoo customer when up to me trying to touch my forehead as he saw that incident and wanted to see if I'm okay. I escape through and just wok as per normal. I can't be bothered to touch up my make up after that. Urgh! Worst incident ever! Duhh! Damn angry!

Lately I've not been uploading pictures as much , cause thanks to my sis who borrow me her lappy with NO Internet*sarcastic smile* dear readers, pray for me that I'll have enough cash n buy my pink Sony crystal eye lappy okay?! Sayang semua<3 charloos ! Sampai ketemu lagy yaa? If nampak kat luar Silaa tegur:)

Just go to bed... Just imagine my hands are ard u playing with ure hairs. Swipping it over n over again. Kissing ure forehead. n my palm is under ure cheeks. Goodnight. Sleep tyte my prince. That's the way my baby boy goes to bed. No matter how dissapointed, mad or hurt by him, at the end I'll be back to loving him just like I always do. Hmm.. Zouk out 2010 is over. Now my next urge is the countdown. Duhh! In What? 14days time? FML ! Nomore party for me :( I can forsee how boring can my birthday be this time round. Maybe I should just go to work forget about celebrating. Hmm. Take in money more better than losing out money. Cannot pamper myself. *wish list* a hot pink two strips Birkenstock, small lady Bonia wallet, many many bangles from Diva long dresses <3 Shit! How sucks could this be?! I need to spent on my birthday?! Urgh! Mama's birthday is coming ! Just two days before mine :( soo goodbye wishlists *sadsad face*

The best part now is when I tried calling he sounds so fresh awake. Hmm. I hang up. Maybe it's my fault. I shouldn't call. Cause it's just gonna hurt more. Boyy, I won't call you anymore. Enough of the hurts you brought me to :) my fcuking birthday is fcuking coming andd I think I'm not gonna get what I fcuking wished for, that is to be happily attached to someone. Friends, I'm sorry for everything . But please. I'm not throwing u guys or even moving away. I was just too carried away with work n etc. My family is having a major problem, boyy, u weren't there. Where were you when I needed u the most ? You are nowhere to be found. Dear blog, you're the only person left for me to share. I need someone badly. To rely on. To lend on. Called Tasha but she didn't pick up. I don't have mas's new cell no. So I can't get through her. I need someone like NOW. You are a totally changed person. I swear. I can't believe things are happening this fast. This is hell. Making decisions so fast , this is the results. I'm so not in the mood. I just hope friends could come back n cheer me up but I know it's neve gonna happen.

My birthday is coming. I'm turining 19. But I'm not looking forward to it. *1st ; I wished I could be that Jura bitch which is so pretty n sexy. At the same time I wish I could be that 'old friend' of urs wearing tudung with good reputations to your family. Who the fcuk u want me to be?! Gosh! I'm left in the middle. Not knowing who to be. It feels sucks when u have to be someone just to be loved . Omg. Why is this happening?! I need some space! FML FML!

Things hasn't been going well today. I'm home alone with nobody to talk to and all I did at home was sleep sleep sleep watch tv, sleep again. My phone was totally silent. But was so thankful that Tasha callEd to share about few stuffs. Her days at work n etc. I totally feel you babe. Cheer up okay syg? ;)

To u; it feels sucks to haf suspected something. Noticed something is wrong. Feel something is fishy. Hmm. But still I'm standing strong not to show it to u. I'm starting to feel kinda regret that I deleted fb. Urgh! After knowing that he Might just deactivate his account just like before n not delete it . Duhh . Nahh. I don't mind. So now bitches out there can't say tat imma bitch nomore. I put my all to my rs. So IF it doesn't work out , I'm not to be blamed fully . Thanks bitches:) now at this point of time which I'm suppose to be well asleep, I'm still wide awaken . Fully , totally thinking of what should I do. Would a gf believe her bf once they haf not been spending alot of quality time together? What ? At work? Yahh, we might be working together but please when we work we work. We are colleagues. I sacrifices my time to accompany u at home. So that we could spent time but ended up u sleep-__- nvm, I understand that ure tired. But hey, if ure tired u should haf told me so we won't meet for that day right? Hmm, I've been tolerating. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not pretty enough. I'm really sorry. I tried to be a perfect gf for u but I failed. Nobody is perfect. I need time spent together. I mean quality times. Hmm. I hate seeing u burning ure midnight oil
just to meet me n let me see ure sleepy face. Hmm. I don't know what I wAnt. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I need your attentions. Hmm. I seriously don't know . But I'm still loving you, sheikh akmal <3

ida bells.
going eighteen coming this jan((:
i love my people and my single life.

Elle♥ Tyshaa♥ Afiq♥ Kak Ina♥ MyraBella♥ Shasha♥ Shahirah♥ Tasha♥ Mannto♥ Ni'mah♥ Zhafri♥ Rabia♥ Faiz♥ Farina♥ Kak Syaza♥ Kak Bit♥ Amad♥ Fazlin♥ Fizzy♥ Rya♥ Aelfira♥ Kiki♥ Susu♥ Gladys♥ Janet♥ Titi♥ Shah♥ Bee Hsiang♥ Benny♥ Chee Chong♥ Evonne♥ Guan Short♥ Jason♥ Keli♥ Kok Yick♥ Mindy♥ Winnie♥ Xavier♥ Xin Yi♥ Saifullah♥ LynBby♥ Aling MasGilerr♥ NeenaDarling♥ Tasha Baby♥ Shanky♥ Mirahh Sab♥ Nizam Hawt♥ Athirah Bachin♥

August 2008 October 2008 January 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 May 2010 August 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011

designer: © pathetique.
resources: xxxxx